When you have the Fear of the Lord

When you have the fear of the Lord, God promises 

• to deliver you from your enemies (2 Kings 17:39) 
• protect you from evil (Proverbs 16:6)
  
• keep His eye on you (Psalm 33:18)
• show you His mercy (Luke 1:50)
• give you riches and honor (Proverbs 22:4)
• supply everything you need (Psalm 34:9)
• reveal all you need to know (Psalm 25:14)
• bless your children and grandchildren (Psalm 103:17)
• give you confidence (Proverbs 14:26)
• a satisfying life (Proverbs 19:23)
• longevity (Proverbs 10:27)
• and the desires of your heart (Psalm 145:19)

What more could you ask for?  May you pray for the comforting, securing, perfect love of the Lord to surround you and deliver you from all fears.  

My Mentor

Peggy Gannon passed away February 10, 2009, after a relatively short and painful bout with cancer.  She was known to all as a caring compassionate soul.  Peggy mothered anyone who needed it.  Her quick smile, incredible cooking, and faithfulness will be missed by all who knew her.

Peggy's example began to impact my life from the moment I met her. I was a new student in Master's attending her husband's funeral. She greeted each new face with peace and strength. A peace I had never witnessed before; it was evident of a seasoned walk with God. From that moment I knew Peggy clung to a Jesus I wanted to know so badly.  

I had the privilege of rubbing shoulders with Peggy over the next several years as she served the church in many ways.  There was never a dull moment in the kitchen as many of us would gather around to hear whatever she had to say. Peggy had the fragrance of Jesus as she told stories of life-lessons.  She talked of times being tough and persevering, months of praying and not hearing a word from the Lord. Stories of traveling to Russia, Samoa and Sweden.  The lessons of being a wife, a mother rearing four children and striving to be a woman of God. She was an extraordinary woman who I aspire to be like.  

Peggy has by far been my greatest mentor.  I am the wife and woman of God I am today because of the impact of her life.  I am forever grateful to have had Peggy as my mentor.

Unlearning

Half of learning is learning.  The other half of learning is unlearning.  Unfortunately, unlearning is twice as hard as learning.    

Even if you study the teachings of Christ, you'll realize that learning wasn't his primary goal.  His primary goal was unlearning.  Jesus was constantly uninstalling Old Testament concepts and upgrading them with New Testament truths.  

Half of spiritual growth is learning what we don't know.  The other half is unlearning what we do know.

-Mark Batterson, "In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day"

God's Daughter

Last night during New Community, Pastor Rick challenged us with a thought. Just like God had a purpose and a plan for Abraham and Sarah, He has a purpose for us.  Names are important to God. Based on where we're at with our walk with Christ, if God were to change our name what name would he give us? After thinking about this for the last day I think God would change my name to Batel. In the Hebrew language Batel literally means God's daughter. I was adopted into His family, regardless of my circumstances, the season or how I feel, Christ paid the price for me and I belong to Him.  I am God's daughter. 

In Hindsight

I recently read someone else's blog that said, "If you want to make God laugh...tell him YOUR plans!"

I found that rather amusing because as I sat down to reflect over this past year I remembered how it all began.  "I" had big plans for 2008.  As you may recall, I am the plan ahead control freak who wants everything mapped out perfectly and to go just as planned.  But I am reminded once again that His ways are higher than my ways (Isaiah 55:9).  I am thankful though that this past year was not limited to my minuscule plans.  

• At the beginning of 2008 I was ready to resign at Agape but I persevered and reaped the benefits of creating stability for 17 students.
• Master's welcomed 8 new students to the team.
• February we hosted youth groups from all over South Texas for a weekend cross-cultural experience into Mexico. Micah performed a wedding of 2 former MC students.
• March brought familiar faces, as Kirk and Donna vacationed with us here in the valley.  Micah performed another wedding of 2 more former MC students.
• April seemed like a long month with Micah out for an 8 day ministry trip.
• May took Micah and I on a mini retreat before a crazy summer.  First time we've done that.  I personally underwent some health setbacks.  And by faith officially resigned my job at Agape.
• June started with a PVC staff retreat to SPI.  It also began the first group of summer interns, Mexico outreaches, and VBS for PVKC.
• July continues the Mexico outreaches and welcomes a new group of SI's.  Staff members, Jeremy, Rachel & daughter Aisha left for Africa.  Our best friends, Rick & Emily came to visit and that was a great way to wrap up the summer.
• August started with Master's graduation then a personal vacation making a road-trip to Dallas, Kansas, and Oklahoma.  It was refreshing to see family.  Master's took our first Staff retreat.  God really began doing a work in me personally as the waters started stirring.  I felt the Lord say, "Be still."
• September brought back 6 2nd yr. students for the fall.  We took the PVC internship to a new level.  This month officially began unemployment and a peace that passes all understanding.  God began to do math that equals whatever He wants it to; bills got paid and life began to get a little clearer.  I also turned 27 and Micah took a ministry trip to San Antonio.  My greatest mentor, Peggy was diagnosed with cancer.
• October marks 4 wonderful years of marriage for Micah and I.  Micah went on another ministry trip to Houston and I had a PVC girls night.  Went on my first prayer retreat with a couple of dear friends.  Palm Valley hosted our annual Fall Family Fiesta with over 1,300 people in attendance.  
• November brings the arrival of my new neice, Syleii.  Nephews Malaki & Zarek turn two.  Micah goes on an even longer trip to Dallas. I do anther girls night.  We have a wonderful Thanksgiving with Master's and Interns.  
• December starts with Micah gone again to El Salvador.  Christmas parties, gift exchanges, food and fun.  Micah finally got an iphone and I got a new MacBook.  This year we tried something new: 12 "Dates" of Christmas.  We took turns creatively planning a date, it was so much fun!!!

So in hindsight it was a great year.  I would have never imagined I would learn so much about God's love for me and his attention to details or the desires of my heart... he has strategically placed me right where I need to be - fully dependent on Him and pursuing the calling He birthed in me 6 years ago.  I couldn't have anticipated anything greater not to mention my marriage getting even better but it has!  

However, as it is written:

"No eye has seen,

no ear has heard,

no mind has conceived

What God has prepared for those who love him"

(1 Corinthians 2:9)

I look forward to what God has prepared for 2009.

God is in the Darkness

In Exodus 20:1-17 God had just given Moses The Ten Commandments. Afterward the people were afraid of God's presence and that's where we'll pick up.

18 When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear.  They stayed at a distance 19 and said to Moses, "Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die." 20 Moses said to the people, "Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning." 21 The people remained at a distance, while Moses approached the thick darkness where God was.

Interesting to note, Moses approached the darkness where God was. Now if we're honest most of us would admit we don't believe God is in the darkness, in fact we go to great lengths to avoid the darkness.  

When you were little did you ever fear the dark? You might have even ran to your parents to find comfort in their arms.  As adults or Christians we may or may not be afraid of the physical dark but we often dread dark seasons in life, we even avoid them if at all possible.  Has it ever occurred to you that maybe God is in the dark times and He is just calling us to draw near. Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the Kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the Kingdom of heaven." Maybe we need to take a lesson from children and humble ourselves and run to our Father's arms. Instead of running away or avoiding the situation when we are afraid, may we embrace the darkness where God is.

Strengths Can Turn to Weaknesses

Has it ever occurred to you that one of your strengths could become a weakness?  I hadn't until recently.  Think about this:  good looks or wealth can lead to pride.  Excessive privilege can invite hardheartedness and injustice. Leadership can turn into control or manipulation. Generosity can lead to overspending on others.  Physical strength can turn into abuse. Friendliness can turn into inappropriate flirtation.  Obsessive planning can destroy spontaneity and cause rigidity.  

Maybe yours isn't listed here but I dare you to ask yourself, "What strength could potentially turn into a weakness?" I realized amongst those listed was one glaring me straight in the face and I never would have thought it could become a weakness.  My need for structure, calendars and obsessive planning can definitely create a barrier to spontaneity.  I need to learn to be open to the unplanned, unscheduled events of life.  Just because they didn't make my calendar doesn't mean it wasn't on God's calendar.

So how do we avoid this? Only by becoming aware of your strengths and asking for God's protection of those strengths to be used for his glory and his plan for your life.

Thanksgiving 2008

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  Here a just a few pictures that were taken.

Painting in Mexico

We spent the day with our youth group in Mexico painting a church in Mexic0.  I had the privilege of first meeting the Pastor of this church and his family 8 years ago when I came to Master's.  We have remained in touch and continue to work alongside them in Mexico during our outreaches.  

Joanna, Pastor Camarillo's daughter.  We have been friends for 8 years, it was so good to see her.

Before and after we painted the church outside.

Keith (left) Kourtni (right)

Heather (left) David (right)

Me and a group of kids that were hanging around.

Before and after we painted the inside of the church.

Eating authentic tomales - yum! 

 

Kourtni eating a sandwich.

We were blessed to get to minister alongside our youth and serve a local church in Mexico.  It was a wonderful day - To God be the glory!

Helping the Community

Last night Master's volunteered at a local Christian school (CCA) to help with a colonial night. Here's a few pics.  Glad we could help the community even though it was "freezing" (for the valley of course).

Me & Micah:)

Testing out the rides.

Me & Kourtni

Keith helped with the horse rides. The rest of us helped with inflatables.

David 

Micah eating a turkey leg.

He Chose Me

I just have to say, God is absolutely amazing!  It keeps me humbled to think God would use me to move in the gifts of the spirit.  I grew up in an unchurched, broken, dysfunctional family with many excuses to not serve Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.  But He chose me!  Me, to speak with a bold confidence of the scriptures, truth, and knowledge I've learned.  On any given typical day I'd be shy, not eloquent in speech and timid.  However, the closer I draw to Him and the more I hide his word in my heart the less I can contain it.  Not preaching to the multitudes or anything, just being sensitive to his leading to speak and minister in my own manner as necessary.  

God is Big Enough for Your Fears

We all struggle with fears, some paralyzing, others mildly nagging.  Fear can motivate you to seek God's strength and power, or it can keep your from embracing new opportunities, including those that would help you fulfill his plan for your life.

This morning's service was quite powerful as we looked at the life of Moses, his fears, and truths to hold on to.  God called Moses to bring the Israelites out of Egypt promising to be with him, that he'd bring the Israelites out of Egypt, the elders of Israel would listen to him, and the Egyptians will respond favorably.

And yet Moses had 3 objections.

1. What if they don't believe or listen to me?  Truth: Be faithful with whatever you've already been entrusted with.
2. Pardon your servant, I've never been eloquent in speech. Truth: You never have to fear that you are not qualified - God qualifies you.
3. Pardon your servant, Lord please send someone else.  Truth: The most courageous thing you can do is ask for help.

On a personal note I am anticipating Micah's return home tomorrow after an 11 day ministry trip. I've missed him soooo much!  I think I need to ban him from traveling any more this year... oh wait, he leaves again in 2 weeks to go to El Salvador :(

The Call of God

Three questions may help clarify the call of God.

1. Have I made up my mind to do what He says, no matter what the cost?
2. Am I faithfully reading His Word and praying?
3. Am I obedient in what I know today of His will?

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." (Psalm 143:8 NIV)

Reflections from Luke 2:48-50

In Luke 2:48 Mary asked Christ a question.  In verse 49, Christ gave her an answer.  Verse 50 tells us, however, that she didn't understand the answer He supplied.  So there you have it: we might ask Christ a question and receive an answer, though we still may not understand the answer - until later.  Maybe much later.  

On another note, Jesus had to be about his Father's business (v. 48).  I just want to be about God. Not about titles, or positions.  Not about ministry. Not about my own agenda and to do's. Not about me at all.  If anything could be said about me may it be that I was about God.

Continuing to Be Still

A few weeks ago I was approached by a lady in our church, wanting to know if I would be interested in helping her part-time with some data-entry stuff.  

Having not worked for the past 3 months I have to admit my heart leaped at the thought of more income.  Then I was heart broke at the lack of confidence and gratefulness in God who is our ultimate provider.  He promises to provide for our needs not our wants.  These last few months have been some of the most rewarding as I have sat back and watched God provide as well as having drawn near to him like never before.  I have been so filled with joy yet found myself wanting more, more that was not for me to have.  I had to repent that my heart got the better of me in wanting materialist things.  However, I was willing to consider this opportunity as an avenue through which God might want to provide.  

Although initially I was torn about what to do, I did very seriously consider the options.  I never felt complete peace one way or the other so I did what I knew to do - I went back to the last thing I knew the Lord had spoken to me and that was to be still.  At this time I did not feel this position was for me.  Micah was supportive on the matter and we felt complete peace with that decision. So I will continue to be still.

Getting What We Want

"Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.  In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths." (Prov. 3:5-6)

Ever want something and didn't get it, only to state, "but I deserve it"? Too often, we Christians expect life to be perfect and for everything to go smoothly for us.  We expect success, happiness, joy, peace, and everything else.  When something stands in the way, we pout or complain.  

Although God does want us to have a good life, there will be times when we must be patient and endure not getting our way.  These disappointments test our character and level of spiritual maturity.  

Why do we think we should always be first while others have to endure the lesser position?  Why do we think we are entitled to the perfect life?  Perhaps sometimes we think more highly of ourselves than we ought to.  A humble mind enables us to take a back seat and wait for God to move us to the front.  God's Word says that we inherit the promises through faith and patience. Believing God is good, but can we continue to believe God and trust Him when we don't feel that life is fair?

The secret of the Christian life is that we commit ourselves fully to God.  If we surrender our wills to God, what happens doesn't make us angry.  If God doesn't give us what we want and ask for, our faith is strong enough to say, "Not my will, but Yours."

God help me, I often have strong desires, and when I don't get what I want, I get upset.  Forgive me.  Remind me that Jesus didn't want to die on the cross, but He lived in total submission to Your will.  I ask You, through Jesus Christ, to help me live in total submission and be content with what You give me.

The Words of our Mouth

Words are powerful and can have an incredible impact on our lives with laughter, memories or tears both for good and bad.  I pray Lord, give me ears to hear the words which will edify, sharpen, bless and draw me closer to You. May I have the strength to let the words which are meant for harm to roll off my back, and the discernment to know the difference between the two.

"May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer." (Psalm 19:14)

Success

The world's definition of success is centered around the things of this world - things you can earn, buy, demand, manipulate, be, or make.  God views success distinctly different: it is that we glorify him by obeying him.  

The Lure of Success

What type of success beckons you?  Is it fame, wealth, possessions, power, perfection, or popularity?  Is it an impressive job title, getting invited to the right parties, or being a size eight? Is it having a company car and a key to the executive elevator?  Is it academic excellence, looking good, meeting deadlines, or having an expense account?  Is it being known on a first-name basis at the country club or having a reputation as a big tipper at restaurants? Or, is it more closely aligned with worshipping God with your life?

How Do You Define Success?

To me success is: Finding God's will for your life and doing it.  I believe seasons of our life will look different so at times God's will may be different.  We just have to obey what we know to do. Right now I feel like I am being a success-finally to be able to serve my husband with full abandon, the calling I felt God birth in me 6 years ago.  I am for the first time in a long time at a place where God truly is first, (Mt. 6:33) and to me that is success.

All Things Work for Good

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good  of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:28 

Not all things that happen to us are good in and of themselves, but God is good and He can cause them to work toward our good if we trust him.  God makes this promise to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.  We must love God with all of our hearts, and we must want His will.  We must be willing to submit to His plan at all times.  

God's will:  to be molded into His image.  Sounds spiritual but in reality it hurts.  Just think of clay being pressed into a mold.  If the clay had feelings, being changed into an entirely different shape would probably be painful.  

If we take a lump of clay and press it into a mold, there is always too much clay and some must be discarded.  Often times there is more of us than will fit into the mold of Jesus, so thoughts, words and actions have to be discarded.  

We must learn to remain steadfast, knowing that no matter how things appear now, God will work them out for our good-and in the process , He will use them to make us better people.  His purpose in everything is to make us more like Jesus.  

God is Big Enough

Do you ever wrestle with fear, worry or being anxious? Interesting to note: In New York Times there was an article about a Scientist working on a human genome project and they've identified the cell they call the worry gene.  People short of this chromosome are especially prone to worry.  

But God's promise is "fear not for I am with you."  I am bigger than your problems, I'm bigger than your failures.  I'm bigger than your regrets, many though they may be.  I'm bigger than your sin and guilt though I know what it is. And if you will let me and if you will try me and if you will open the door of your heart, I will come into your life and I will be your forgiver, and I will be your strength and I will be your friend. 

Our pastor is doing a series called God is Big Enough, click on the link if you'd like to hear the rest of the message.  It's an amazing truth we all need to hear.