10 Weeks Pregnant

How my baby's growing:  Though the baby's barely the size of a kumquat - a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom - and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, the baby has now completed the most critical portion of the development.  This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in the body rapidly grow and mature.  

The baby is swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm.  Vital organs - including the kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac) - are in place and starting to function, though they'll continue to develop throughout the pregnancy.

If you could take a peek inside my womb, you'd spot minute details, like tiny nails forming on fingers and toes (no more webbing) and peach-fuzz hair beginning to grow on tender skin.

In other developments:  My baby's limbs can bend now.  The hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over the heart, and the feet may be long enough to meet in front of the body.  The outline of the spine is clearly visible through translucent skin, and spinal nerves are beginning to stretch out from the spinal cord.  My baby's forehead temporarily bulges with the developing brain and sits very high on the head, which measures half the length of the body.  From crown to rump, the baby is about 1 1/4 inches long.  In the coming weeks, my baby will again double in size - to nearly 3 inches.

How my life's changing:  Before I got pregnant, my uterus was the size of a small pear.  By this week, it's as big as a grapefruit.  However, I still don't have much to show for.  I have a small "baby bump" but considering I was a bit over my normal weight to begin with it doesn't look like much has changed.  Clothes still fit but some are beginning to be more uncomfortable than others.  

9 Weeks Pregnant

How my baby's growing: The new resident in nearly an inch long - about the size of a grape - and weights just a fraction of an ounce.  The baby is definitely starting to look more and more like a human.  The essential body parts are accounted for, though they'll go though plenty of fine-tuning in the coming months.  Other changes abound:  The baby's heart finishes dividing into four chambers, and the valves start to form - as do the tiny teeth.  The embryonic "tail" is completely gone.  Our baby's organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear.  The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks.  The eyes are fulling formed, but the eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks.  The tiny earlobes, mouth, nose and nostrils are more distinct.  The placenta is developed enough now to take over most of the critical job of producing hormones.  Now that the baby's basic physiology is in place, it's poised for rapid weight gain.

How my life's changing:  Although I haven't gained any weight I definitely feel pregnant, especially as clothes are beginning to feel a bit snug.

Today we had our first prenatal visit... amongst the routine blood and lab work, we got to hear the baby's heartbeat!  There's something about that steady little drumbeat (more like a locomotive) that makes you realize that you really, truly are going to have a baby soon.  Not only is this an audible manifestation of our child's existence, but a confirmation that he or she is developing on track.  I love Psalm 139:13 "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb."  Today was an audible confirmation that our child is indeed being knit together in my womb.  I can't express how exciting this truly is, there is life!

8 Weeks Pregnant

How my baby's growing:  Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from my baby's hands and feet, the eyelids practically cover the eyes, breathing tubes extend from the throat into the branches of the developing lungs, and the "tail" is just about gone.  In the brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways.  As I'm dreaming about what gender my baby will be, the external genitals still haven't developed enough to reveal whether we are having a boy or girl.  Either way, our baby is about the size of a kidney bean and is constantly moving and shifting, though I still can't feel it.  

How my life's changing:  Feeling fatigued?  Absolutely! A rise in progesterone is definitely contributing to my sluggishness, not to mention the frequent visits to the bathroom through the night.  The midwife just contributes this to God's way of preparing us for the sleepless nights when the baby arrives.  A week from today and we'll have our first prenatal visit!

7 Weeks Pregnant

How my baby's growing:  The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs - although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities I'm daydreaming about holding and tickling.  Technically, my baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of the tailbone.  The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller.  My baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures an inch long, about the size of a blueberry.

If you could see inside my womb, you'd spot eyelid folds partially covering the peepers, which already have some color, as well as the tip of the nose and tiny veins beneath parchment-thin skin.  Both hemispheres of my baby's brain are growing, and the liver is churning out red blood cells until the bone marrow forms and takes over this role.  The baby also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion.  A loop in my baby's growing intestines is bulging into the umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from it's tiny body.

How my life's changing: Well my uterus has doubled in size in the past five weeks and although I haven't gained any weight, I can already feel a difference in the way my clothes are fitting. Getting ready is the biggest event of my day!  I can only imagine what the months to come will be like.  I've had to pee more than usual, thanks to the increasing blood volume and extra fluid being processed through my kidneys. (By now, I already have about 10 percent more blood than I did before I was pregnant.  And by the end of my pregnancy, I'll have 40 to 45 percent more blood running through my veins to meet the demands of my full-term baby.)  As my uterus grows, pressure on my bladder will send me to the bathroom more often. (And I thought I went to the bathroom a lot before I was pregnant!)

So far things have been good.  I have randomly felt nauseated but it usually passes after a short time, no vomiting yet - thank God!  A little more tired than normal but with my schedule it's not hard to squeeze in a quick power nap which usually does the job.

We have an orientation meeting set up tomorrow with the Holy Family Birth Center.  This will be an informational meeting to talk through everything with us, explain how it all works, meet the midwife and set up our first prenatal visit for next Monday or Tuesday.  

6 Weeks Pregnant

How my baby's growing:  This week's major developments:  The nose, mouth, and ears that I'll spend so much time kissing in eight months are beginning to take shape.  If you could see into my uterus, you'd find an oversize head and dark spots where my baby's eyes and nostrils are starting to form.  His emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and his arms and legs by protruding buds.  His heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute - almost twice as fast as yours - and blood is beginning to course through his body.  His intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will rise to his lungs has appeared.  His pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of his brain, muscles, and bones.  Right now, my baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a lentil bean.

How my life's changing:  I have found myself developing a bit of a split personality - feeling moody one day and joyful the next.  This is a bit unsettling (especially since I pride myself on being in control), but I've been told what I'm going through is normal.  Ricocheting emotions are caused partly by fluctuating hormones.  But hormones aside, my life is about to change in a big way - and who wouldn't feel emotional about that?

We are still in the process of trying to decide on a health care provider.  One option is an ob/gyn doctor in our church.  Pre-pregnancy I was anti-male doctors to an extreme.  However, as I have gotten to know this man of God and heard reports of others experience with him, I am warming up to the idea.  However, one drawback is that we do not have insurance.  So option two (and more affordable) would be to use a midwife.  I had a friend go this route and had a wonderful experience.  A couple cons to this option is the facilities are about 35 minutes away and they don't do sonograms.  I think that is one thing all expecting mothers look forward to during the process.  To hear the heart beat for the first time, find out the gender if you so desire...

Well I have about a week and a 1/2 before I should have my first prenatal visit so by then we should have made our decision.  Please keep us in your prayers as we trust in the Lord for His guidance and provision.

5 Weeks Pregnant

How my baby's growing: I am 5 weeks pregnant.  At this point, the baby is about the size of a sesame seed and looks more like a tadpole than a human.  The baby is now made up of three layers - the ectoderm, the mesoderm, and the endoderm - which will later form all of the organs and tissues.

The neural tube - from which the baby's brain, spinal cord, nerves, and backbone will sprout - is starting to develop in the top layer, called the ectoderm.  This layer will also give rise to skin, hair, nails, mammary and sweat glands, and tooth enamel.

The heart and circulatory system begin to form in the middle layer, or mesoderm.  This week, the tiny heart begins to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood.  The mesoderm will also form the baby's muscles, cartilage, bone and subcutaneous (under skin) tissue.

The third layer, or endoderm, will house the lungs, intestines and rudimentary urinary system, as well as the thyroid, liver and pancreas.  In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to the baby, are already on the job.

How my life's changing: Although the outside world can't see any sign of the dramatic developments taking place inside me, my life is already changing as I have noticed some pregnancy-related discomforts like fatigue, frequent urination and a bit of nausea.  This definitely is a new season of life but we are looking forward to the adventure ahead.  

It's amazing how God's timing works... As we've clung to Matthew 6:33  and truly put Him first he has given us the desires of our heart.  We are more dependent on Him than ever (almost like He planned it that way). This definitely is a new season of life but we couldn't be more excited and are looking forward to the adventure ahead.

When you have the Fear of the Lord

When you have the fear of the Lord, God promises 

• to deliver you from your enemies (2 Kings 17:39) 
• protect you from evil (Proverbs 16:6)
  
• keep His eye on you (Psalm 33:18)
• show you His mercy (Luke 1:50)
• give you riches and honor (Proverbs 22:4)
• supply everything you need (Psalm 34:9)
• reveal all you need to know (Psalm 25:14)
• bless your children and grandchildren (Psalm 103:17)
• give you confidence (Proverbs 14:26)
• a satisfying life (Proverbs 19:23)
• longevity (Proverbs 10:27)
• and the desires of your heart (Psalm 145:19)

What more could you ask for?  May you pray for the comforting, securing, perfect love of the Lord to surround you and deliver you from all fears.  

My Mentor

Peggy Gannon passed away February 10, 2009, after a relatively short and painful bout with cancer.  She was known to all as a caring compassionate soul.  Peggy mothered anyone who needed it.  Her quick smile, incredible cooking, and faithfulness will be missed by all who knew her.

Peggy's example began to impact my life from the moment I met her. I was a new student in Master's attending her husband's funeral. She greeted each new face with peace and strength. A peace I had never witnessed before; it was evident of a seasoned walk with God. From that moment I knew Peggy clung to a Jesus I wanted to know so badly.  

I had the privilege of rubbing shoulders with Peggy over the next several years as she served the church in many ways.  There was never a dull moment in the kitchen as many of us would gather around to hear whatever she had to say. Peggy had the fragrance of Jesus as she told stories of life-lessons.  She talked of times being tough and persevering, months of praying and not hearing a word from the Lord. Stories of traveling to Russia, Samoa and Sweden.  The lessons of being a wife, a mother rearing four children and striving to be a woman of God. She was an extraordinary woman who I aspire to be like.  

Peggy has by far been my greatest mentor.  I am the wife and woman of God I am today because of the impact of her life.  I am forever grateful to have had Peggy as my mentor.

Unlearning

Half of learning is learning.  The other half of learning is unlearning.  Unfortunately, unlearning is twice as hard as learning.    

Even if you study the teachings of Christ, you'll realize that learning wasn't his primary goal.  His primary goal was unlearning.  Jesus was constantly uninstalling Old Testament concepts and upgrading them with New Testament truths.  

Half of spiritual growth is learning what we don't know.  The other half is unlearning what we do know.

-Mark Batterson, "In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day"

God's Daughter

Last night during New Community, Pastor Rick challenged us with a thought. Just like God had a purpose and a plan for Abraham and Sarah, He has a purpose for us.  Names are important to God. Based on where we're at with our walk with Christ, if God were to change our name what name would he give us? After thinking about this for the last day I think God would change my name to Batel. In the Hebrew language Batel literally means God's daughter. I was adopted into His family, regardless of my circumstances, the season or how I feel, Christ paid the price for me and I belong to Him.  I am God's daughter. 

In Hindsight

I recently read someone else's blog that said, "If you want to make God laugh...tell him YOUR plans!"

I found that rather amusing because as I sat down to reflect over this past year I remembered how it all began.  "I" had big plans for 2008.  As you may recall, I am the plan ahead control freak who wants everything mapped out perfectly and to go just as planned.  But I am reminded once again that His ways are higher than my ways (Isaiah 55:9).  I am thankful though that this past year was not limited to my minuscule plans.  

• At the beginning of 2008 I was ready to resign at Agape but I persevered and reaped the benefits of creating stability for 17 students.
• Master's welcomed 8 new students to the team.
• February we hosted youth groups from all over South Texas for a weekend cross-cultural experience into Mexico. Micah performed a wedding of 2 former MC students.
• March brought familiar faces, as Kirk and Donna vacationed with us here in the valley.  Micah performed another wedding of 2 more former MC students.
• April seemed like a long month with Micah out for an 8 day ministry trip.
• May took Micah and I on a mini retreat before a crazy summer.  First time we've done that.  I personally underwent some health setbacks.  And by faith officially resigned my job at Agape.
• June started with a PVC staff retreat to SPI.  It also began the first group of summer interns, Mexico outreaches, and VBS for PVKC.
• July continues the Mexico outreaches and welcomes a new group of SI's.  Staff members, Jeremy, Rachel & daughter Aisha left for Africa.  Our best friends, Rick & Emily came to visit and that was a great way to wrap up the summer.
• August started with Master's graduation then a personal vacation making a road-trip to Dallas, Kansas, and Oklahoma.  It was refreshing to see family.  Master's took our first Staff retreat.  God really began doing a work in me personally as the waters started stirring.  I felt the Lord say, "Be still."
• September brought back 6 2nd yr. students for the fall.  We took the PVC internship to a new level.  This month officially began unemployment and a peace that passes all understanding.  God began to do math that equals whatever He wants it to; bills got paid and life began to get a little clearer.  I also turned 27 and Micah took a ministry trip to San Antonio.  My greatest mentor, Peggy was diagnosed with cancer.
• October marks 4 wonderful years of marriage for Micah and I.  Micah went on another ministry trip to Houston and I had a PVC girls night.  Went on my first prayer retreat with a couple of dear friends.  Palm Valley hosted our annual Fall Family Fiesta with over 1,300 people in attendance.  
• November brings the arrival of my new neice, Syleii.  Nephews Malaki & Zarek turn two.  Micah goes on an even longer trip to Dallas. I do anther girls night.  We have a wonderful Thanksgiving with Master's and Interns.  
• December starts with Micah gone again to El Salvador.  Christmas parties, gift exchanges, food and fun.  Micah finally got an iphone and I got a new MacBook.  This year we tried something new: 12 "Dates" of Christmas.  We took turns creatively planning a date, it was so much fun!!!

So in hindsight it was a great year.  I would have never imagined I would learn so much about God's love for me and his attention to details or the desires of my heart... he has strategically placed me right where I need to be - fully dependent on Him and pursuing the calling He birthed in me 6 years ago.  I couldn't have anticipated anything greater not to mention my marriage getting even better but it has!  

However, as it is written:

"No eye has seen,

no ear has heard,

no mind has conceived

What God has prepared for those who love him"

(1 Corinthians 2:9)

I look forward to what God has prepared for 2009.

God is in the Darkness

In Exodus 20:1-17 God had just given Moses The Ten Commandments. Afterward the people were afraid of God's presence and that's where we'll pick up.

18 When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear.  They stayed at a distance 19 and said to Moses, "Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die." 20 Moses said to the people, "Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning." 21 The people remained at a distance, while Moses approached the thick darkness where God was.

Interesting to note, Moses approached the darkness where God was. Now if we're honest most of us would admit we don't believe God is in the darkness, in fact we go to great lengths to avoid the darkness.  

When you were little did you ever fear the dark? You might have even ran to your parents to find comfort in their arms.  As adults or Christians we may or may not be afraid of the physical dark but we often dread dark seasons in life, we even avoid them if at all possible.  Has it ever occurred to you that maybe God is in the dark times and He is just calling us to draw near. Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the Kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the Kingdom of heaven." Maybe we need to take a lesson from children and humble ourselves and run to our Father's arms. Instead of running away or avoiding the situation when we are afraid, may we embrace the darkness where God is.

Strengths Can Turn to Weaknesses

Has it ever occurred to you that one of your strengths could become a weakness?  I hadn't until recently.  Think about this:  good looks or wealth can lead to pride.  Excessive privilege can invite hardheartedness and injustice. Leadership can turn into control or manipulation. Generosity can lead to overspending on others.  Physical strength can turn into abuse. Friendliness can turn into inappropriate flirtation.  Obsessive planning can destroy spontaneity and cause rigidity.  

Maybe yours isn't listed here but I dare you to ask yourself, "What strength could potentially turn into a weakness?" I realized amongst those listed was one glaring me straight in the face and I never would have thought it could become a weakness.  My need for structure, calendars and obsessive planning can definitely create a barrier to spontaneity.  I need to learn to be open to the unplanned, unscheduled events of life.  Just because they didn't make my calendar doesn't mean it wasn't on God's calendar.

So how do we avoid this? Only by becoming aware of your strengths and asking for God's protection of those strengths to be used for his glory and his plan for your life.

Thanksgiving 2008

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  Here a just a few pictures that were taken.

Painting in Mexico

We spent the day with our youth group in Mexico painting a church in Mexic0.  I had the privilege of first meeting the Pastor of this church and his family 8 years ago when I came to Master's.  We have remained in touch and continue to work alongside them in Mexico during our outreaches.  

Joanna, Pastor Camarillo's daughter.  We have been friends for 8 years, it was so good to see her.

Before and after we painted the church outside.

Keith (left) Kourtni (right)

Heather (left) David (right)

Me and a group of kids that were hanging around.

Before and after we painted the inside of the church.

Eating authentic tomales - yum! 

 

Kourtni eating a sandwich.

We were blessed to get to minister alongside our youth and serve a local church in Mexico.  It was a wonderful day - To God be the glory!

Helping the Community

Last night Master's volunteered at a local Christian school (CCA) to help with a colonial night. Here's a few pics.  Glad we could help the community even though it was "freezing" (for the valley of course).

Me & Micah:)

Testing out the rides.

Me & Kourtni

Keith helped with the horse rides. The rest of us helped with inflatables.

David 

Micah eating a turkey leg.

He Chose Me

I just have to say, God is absolutely amazing!  It keeps me humbled to think God would use me to move in the gifts of the spirit.  I grew up in an unchurched, broken, dysfunctional family with many excuses to not serve Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.  But He chose me!  Me, to speak with a bold confidence of the scriptures, truth, and knowledge I've learned.  On any given typical day I'd be shy, not eloquent in speech and timid.  However, the closer I draw to Him and the more I hide his word in my heart the less I can contain it.  Not preaching to the multitudes or anything, just being sensitive to his leading to speak and minister in my own manner as necessary.  

God is Big Enough for Your Fears

We all struggle with fears, some paralyzing, others mildly nagging.  Fear can motivate you to seek God's strength and power, or it can keep your from embracing new opportunities, including those that would help you fulfill his plan for your life.

This morning's service was quite powerful as we looked at the life of Moses, his fears, and truths to hold on to.  God called Moses to bring the Israelites out of Egypt promising to be with him, that he'd bring the Israelites out of Egypt, the elders of Israel would listen to him, and the Egyptians will respond favorably.

And yet Moses had 3 objections.

1. What if they don't believe or listen to me?  Truth: Be faithful with whatever you've already been entrusted with.
2. Pardon your servant, I've never been eloquent in speech. Truth: You never have to fear that you are not qualified - God qualifies you.
3. Pardon your servant, Lord please send someone else.  Truth: The most courageous thing you can do is ask for help.

On a personal note I am anticipating Micah's return home tomorrow after an 11 day ministry trip. I've missed him soooo much!  I think I need to ban him from traveling any more this year... oh wait, he leaves again in 2 weeks to go to El Salvador :(

The Call of God

Three questions may help clarify the call of God.

1. Have I made up my mind to do what He says, no matter what the cost?
2. Am I faithfully reading His Word and praying?
3. Am I obedient in what I know today of His will?

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." (Psalm 143:8 NIV)

Reflections from Luke 2:48-50

In Luke 2:48 Mary asked Christ a question.  In verse 49, Christ gave her an answer.  Verse 50 tells us, however, that she didn't understand the answer He supplied.  So there you have it: we might ask Christ a question and receive an answer, though we still may not understand the answer - until later.  Maybe much later.  

On another note, Jesus had to be about his Father's business (v. 48).  I just want to be about God. Not about titles, or positions.  Not about ministry. Not about my own agenda and to do's. Not about me at all.  If anything could be said about me may it be that I was about God.