Wednesday, October 1, 2014

1. Heart Change

I am participating in a 21 day challenge to pray for my sons.
Having 2 little boys is one of my greatest joys and parenting them, my greatest challenge! My husband and I prayed long before we decided to have children... We knew from the beginning we wanted children and welcomed the journey of parenthood. We also knew it was a very high calling and not one to be taken lightly. I specifically felt and knew that when I became a mom, the trajectory of my life would forever be changed. I would give up the desire to be "successful" in the world's eyes and aim to be successful in that which God had called me. Oh, there are so many days I feel as though my aim is far beneath even par but it is in my inadequacy that God equips and enables me to do the very job he's called me to do. You see, my calling and worth aren't just about how well my boys respond to my leading but also about how I respond to the Holy Spirit's leading. I am learning that parenting is one of the greatest forms of discipleship. It is humbling to admit I'm a flawed perfectionist who craves structure, order and cleanliness. Those things don't quite fit into the world of child-rearing, in fact they are often absent or non-existent altogether. And can I be honest?... It drives me absolutely crazy some days. It is then that I realize, I too, can not change my own heart, only Jesus can. So instead of expecting perfect behavior or even trying to change behavior (Because I can't.  Period. It's not my job.) I find this weary, exhausted mom on my knees seeking the only ONE who can change a heart - JESUS!  This is the first and most important action I can take. Praying that God will change their hearts of stone to hearts of flesh. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26 NIV)

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